Welcome to Blophese- the only place where you can learn the stupidest constructed language on the net. Blophese was created as a simple language, like retarded English grammar & word order. It is displayed throughout the site, consisting of double/triple negatives, negative adjectives with added suffixes, and adjectives with/without suffixes.

(i.e. You didn't tell me about no seaweed!
We've lost our minds also, though, too.
That man is real dislittly [ little ].)

Blopese is now much more complex, but incredibly easy to learn. It still uses English word order. We'll add more and more to make it a complete language, so bear with us as it develops. Our tutorial should take less than 30 minutes to teach you how to be the biggest ass in the entire school! All the lessons of the tutorial are ESSENTIAL, so you can't skip around, except for some of the Fun Stuff. If you don't feel like learning Blophese, at least check out the Fun Stuff page to get an idea of what Blophese is like.


1. The pronounciation window should pop up on the left side. If it does not, then click here. It is a good idea to keep it up for reference while learning the language, even after you have studied it and learned to pronounce Blophese spellings.
2. Alphabet
3. Numbers
4. Time
5. Pronouns
6. Nouns
7. Verbs
8. Greetings
9. Fun Stuff

Creator of Blophese Grammar Idea

Webmaster & Founder