Zanktooks Course

Lesson 1

.cuVre zanqDUqZec/ .khe 1/

Welcome to the free Zanktooks course, this is the first of ten lessons. You are about to learn one of the least useful languages in existence, Zanktooks, it's the official language of Zaynktooksian Nation, on the non-existent planet of Zaynktooks. If you have any questions, please include them when you send this lesson in for evaluation. Of the few reasons to learn Zanktooks is for secret conversations or notes among others, to get a grasp on artificial languages, and to basically annoy those around you for your sadistic pleasure. Pretty soon you'll be drinking putrid green water in the harsh freezing climate of Zaynktooks, all from the comfort of your home, you know, the one with the padded walls.

In this page I merely want you to look at, listen to, and repeat the conversation and get used to the feel of Zanktooks, it isn't important what it means just yet, but for you to get used to how it looks and sounds. The rest of course will breese by, each step is an important foundation for the next step, the course is meant to painlessly teach you the language, it is presented to be easy and fun. Remember, Zaynktooks (zeynk-tooks) is the planet while Zanktooks (zahnk-tooks) is the language.

"roDanvo' .vamYe uvazYad/ "roDanvo aqleZ' [gy eerqac dylarDafu]

This means:

"Hello," said vamYHe.

"Hello, traveler. How are you? (litterally "are you happy?")

Notice how the first and third sentences (quotations) start and end, with " ', the second (statement) starts and ends with . /, and the fourth (interrogative quotation) use [ ]. Points where Zanktooks differs from English is that even though it's in the same quotation, the punctuation ends and starts with each sentence, and Zanktooks doesn't have an equivalent to a paragraph or indention. Also, for interrogative statements, i.e. questions without the quotations, just use > ? and for a pause, whether for effect or interruption use ,, it's similar to an elipsis but never used grammatically like a comma.

Next, let's learn the letters of the alphabet. They're written like cursive and, when romanized, certain letters become capitalized, just add a horizontal line, or macron over the letter in Zanktooks (called an overline). Ones with pronounciation not listed are generic.
aafather ('aYH's [aY] are pronounced 'eye')
eebet ('er's [er] are pronounced 'air')
LLFrom Aluric 'lh', position tongue for an l, but hiss instead.
mmm, but more properly without air penetrating the nose.
nnn, but more properly without air penetrating the nose.
ooboat ('oYH's [oY] are pronounce like toy)
qqcar with tongue further back in mouth.
RRslightly trilled r
uucut (foot at the end of the word)
UHHZanktooks U in root with Aluric HH (rasping sound with back of tongue slightly raised) .
IHiZanktooks y with Aluric HH
FIfF sound with Zanktooks y
EHhZanktooks e with Aluric HH
ZHkpleasure, Aluric ZH, or French j

Now that you know the Zanktooks alphabet (called IHbe, ibe) you'll be able to read and write the language easily. You are well on your way to annoying people with less time on their hands than you. Here are some exercises that will be helpful for remembering ibe.

    What are the following words when romanized? Don't worry about the meaning just yet, and remember to capitalize necesary letters.

    roDanvo roDanvo

  1. jovalo
  2. rynqYo
  3. lalamUmU
  4. venbe
  5. dUcqa

    What English words do these represent?

    DeleVykun television

  6. qarz
  7. Yyr
  8. vaDur
  9. vADur
  10. laYbreryz
  11. BlekYur
  12. dyqsunery

    Name (cUqe):

    Email (yce ibec):

    Comments (dUcqe Vulu):

  13. Congratulations (cyro) on completing your first Zanktooks lesson, there was a lot to learn in this one, don't worry if you remember it all the next few lessons will come romanized and in ibe. So, you'll have plenty of time to get used to it.