---- New Conversation, Mon Jul 15 20:52:26 2002 ----

Brittany entered the room.

Jordan entered the room.

Spence entered the room.

Brittany: hello?
Jordan: hello there, brittany
Brittany: who is that?
Spence: Hello, Britanny.
Jordan: That's Kepenepela
Spence: Aloha.
Jordan: hes from Hawaii
Brittany: right...siiiigh all the mind games...
Jordan: youre talking about Luke, right? he plays mind games
Spence:Yes.
Jordan: elaborate, Kepenepela
Spence: Oh, sure.
Spence: He mai! Mai! Mai! He mai e ku`u hoaaloha o ka`ôlelo Hawai`i. Ua ao kêia `ao`ao `upena nei, ua hiki mai la `oe. Mai, mai! Eia nô au nei.
Brittany: this is craziness
Jordan: told you he's hawaiin
Spence: Luka is a very bad person.
Jordan: tell her about the beans
Spence: Oh yeah. Ua lohe au: `O kêia ka makahiki `ôlelo Hawai`i. He ho`omaka maika`i kêlâ, akâ na`e, `a`ale lawa. `O kêia ka wâ `ôlelo Hawai`i, `eâ? No leila, pehea lâ ma hope o kêia makahiki? Pau ka `ôlelo Hawai`i? `A`ole loa.
Jordan: hehehe, spencer
Spence: Huh?
Jordan: speak in the language osama bad luken used
Spence: Oh, me?
Jordan: yes... oops
Brittany: oh its Spencer...i should have known
Jordan: damn. ok just tell her the clues. i already pointed out Luke's bad grammar, spelling, and punctuation as a clue, cuz he no speaky the langua
Spence: And he's also a terrorist.
Jordan: yes, yes he is. a terrorist who steals catch phrases.
Spence: And he's violent when he doesn't get his way.
Jordan: the beard, tell her about the beard
Spence: Well, as a matter of fact, he almost always wears a non-beard, so we don't notice his beard.
Jordan: SEE?
Brittany: I SEE NOW
Spence: That's why he always has those stupid-looking wiskers sticking out.
Jordan: YES! YES!
Spence: Those non-beards aren't perfect.
Jordan: his whiskers are where the non beard isnt working and his beard shows through
Spence: `Ae.... That means yes.
Jordan: and you know how we tried to blow bin laden up in Afghanistan? well we DIDN'T! and thats because he was here; HE'S LUKE!
Jordan: and you know how luke always says "GO TO BED" and "GOT IT!"? Those are catch phrases he stole, the first from Kelepenela
Spence: And you know how those Klingons look like Afghanis.
Jordan: yeah! lukes also klingon and vampire, as you well know, Brittany
Jordan: and uh.... spies have spotted bin Laden on computers typing "GO TO BED"
Spence: And you know how lonely those vampires are, that's why he's so obsessed with meeting 70 virgins when he dies.
Jordan: SHHHH! he wants us to go to sleep so we can't fight against his terrorism, so....he tells us to go to bed
Jordan: and thats how the taliban came to america in the first place; we were sleeping
Jordan: erm... i know all this is TRUE, but how does this tie
in with his being a vampire and
klingon? ...wait i think i get it! he uses non-ships to make his klingon ships invisible! ...which are available for him to quickly transport himself from place to place
Spence: Yeah, his toQDujmey, if you will.
Jordan: quite. and luke is avampire. i cant figure out how that ties in, though.
Jordan: I NEED DETECTIVE LAMBERTH

Lamberth entered the room.

Jordan: i call detective lamberth to the stand
Lamberth: who is this?
Spence: Kimo Kepenepela, at your service.
Spence: You couldn't get Columbo?
Jordan: no, sorry, and sigmund freud was on vacation
Spence: Freud wasn't a detective, he was a psychiatrist.
Jordan: SHHH! I KNOW THAT!

Brittany left the room.

Jordan: so, detective lamberth, what are your opinions on the osama bad luken conspiracy?

...

Spence: Detective Lamberth, have you ever met Ace Ventura, Pet Detective? Because he's a much better detective that you are.
Jordan: i'll say! he talks! 
Spence: Yeah! Through his butt cheeks. Only a true detective can pull that off. Detective Poirot probably could do it too.
Jordan: ill get detective archer

Archer entered the room.

Jordan: i call detective archer to the stand. we found out, not only is luke a vampire and a klingon, but hes also bin laden! help us out Detective Archer!
Archer: *Detective Archer dies at the mention of a vampire*

Archer left the room.

Jordan: well..... that sucked. im running out of detectives. you can go now, Detective Lamberth, unless you can help us solve this mystery

...

YOURE GONNA HELP? GREAT!
Spence: SUPER!

...

The detective is obviously weighing the evidence.

Lamberth left the room.

Jordan: now we have no detectives
Jordan: how does luke being a vampire tie in?
Spence: AskPoirot!
Jordan: im not asking a damn parrot
Spence: No, Detective Poirot!
Jordan: NO PARROT... ok. fine. call him to the stand
Spence: He's a fictitious character. Don't you watch A&E?
Jordan: wait, i understand now. it doesnt take a detective to figure this out! Luke is manifesting different lifeforms into himself! it's part of his quest for dictatorship of the galaxy... once he is strong enough, there will be no way to stop him... Luke is already a human-vampire-klingon-terrorist bent on destruction.... maybe..... just maybe... hes already on his conquest to turn people into mice
Spence: And he's a descendent of frog people.
Jordan: ok, yes, and great great great great great grandson to a man of the future
Spence: And he's going to turn in to a rat. We're not sure how yet.
Jordan: and we're not sure how we turn into mice yet, either